My Nanny came to visit recently. I love my Nanny. She pretends to be so put upon and left out. In reality, she is up in everyone's business and very social. GF thinks we are mean to Nanny because we give her a hard time and kid her. Like this one time when we were telling her that her hair looked very poodle-like. That is not mean. She loves the attention. My Dad picks on her endlessly and I think my Nanny loves him more than my Mom, her actual daughter. Anyway, we talked. Now, I share.
Me: How are you doing? What have you been up to?
Nanny: Just as little as possible.
Me: You always say that, but you keep busier than I do sometimes.
Nanny: Well, I play cards a few times a week.
Me: Well, what else is going on? What do you know?
Nanny: I don't know anything. No one tells me anything anymore.
Me: What do you mean?
Nanny: No one tells me anything. Like at my apartment, I never know what's going on. I only know when people are sick because I see the ambulances.
Me: I guess you could ask people.
Nanny: No, you can't do that anymore. In the past, you could ask people whatever you wanted. Now, you can't do that. People don't want you to know things. Like you and all your cousins.
Me: What don't you know about me and my cousins?
Nanny: Lots of things, I'm sure. Y'all just tell me what you want me to know.
Me: And you wish you could ask us whatever you wanted?
Nanny: Yes, I do. But then y'all will get mad and tell me to stop prying.
[Dad brings me the program from a funeral he just attended so that I can read it.]
Nanny: Like that paper in your hands. I could ask what it is and what it says, but I won't.
Me: Such restraint on your part, Nanny.
Me: What book are you reading?
Nanny: I'm not sure what it's called.
Me: Well, is it good?
Nanny: It's okay.
Me: Why is it just okay?
Nanny: There's too much sex in it.
Me: Oh. Is that one of the big-print books we got you for Christmas?
Nanny: Yes, it is. The whole family gave me this book, and it's trashy.
Me: Sorry about that. Guess we'll have to screen them better in the future.
Nanny: There's just too much sex in it. Too much.
Mom: Where's your Nanny?
Me: Reading her book.
[We all eat lunch. Nanny finished considerably earlier than everyone else.]
Nanny: Well, I'm gonna just go keep reading my book while y'all finish eating.
[Time passes. We decide to run a few errands.]
Me: Nanny, do you want to go with us to run some errands?
Nanny: No, I'll just stay here and keep reading my book.