My parents. Oh, my parents. My parents could be the source of many entries here at smartjuice because they make me laugh so much. It is all unintentional laughter of course, but laughter none the less. I love and respect my parents and genuinely enjoy spending time with them. I'm not like their evil daughter who moved to the 49th state for a Canadian boy, forcing my mother to say things like, "That's fine..I don't need to know my grand kids" and "I'm sure I'll get used to only seeing you once a year, because that's normal". Evil, evil daughter. Why do you hate our parents? Why do you make them cry?
Anyway, this is not about my evil sister. This is about the people that created and gave birth to evil incarnate. My parents can be so hilariously clueless at times, and nothing demonstrates this more than their knowledge and appreciation of current and popular movies. Now, when I say 'knowledge' and 'appreciation', you might think they possess both of these. Alas, they do not. Not even a little. My parents don't like to even go to the movie theater. They think the screen is too big and the sound is too loud. The only time they go is with their good friends, but I suspect the only reason they go then is because my mom and her friend get a charge from sneaking in all types of snacks in their purses.
On a side note, one time I went to a movie with my dad and he wanted to sneak in a giant back of trail mix. So he wrapped his jacket around it, placed it all on the counter to buy his ticket, then promptly walked off with his jacket and left the giant bag on the counter. The ticket lady just looked at the bag, then at me, so I just grabbed the bag and walked away quickly.
But back to the point. My parents have very refined movie tastes. How refined you might ask? So refined that my mom's favorite actor is Jeanne Claude Van Damme. I swear those are the only types of movies that hold her interest. And my dad will watch ANY movie about ANY war that comes on TCM or AMC. Let us not even talk about how they can never remember if they have even seen a certain movie or not. They will say, "We went to the movies with the Garrett's the other day", and I will say, "What did you see?", to which they reply, "Well, we took a small bag of M&M's and peanuts, and we put cans of Coke in our coat pockets, and the Garrett's brought some popcorn from home and it was a good time." You can imagine how difficult it is to rent them movies from Blockbuster. There have been many instances where I've had to go right back up to the rental counter and ask if I can trade a movie because it turns out my parents have actually seen it. Blockbuster employees are usually very understanding about this.
So, taking into account their lack of knowledge of current movies, it was a real treat to sit with my mom for a half-hour and watch the Oscars. This is how it went down:
Mom: Who is that?
Me: She is Hilary Swank.
Mom: What does she do?
Me: She's an actor. She's in that movie with Clint Eastwood. The one about boxing.
Mom: She's in that movie?
Me: Yes. It's a really good movie. She's pretty good. She's the boxer.
Mom: She's the boxer?
Me: Yes, why?
Mom: Well, I thought that movie was about black people?
Me: No, it's about a female boxer. Are you thinking of 'Ray'? That is about black people.
Mom: Matt, I know who Ray Charles is. Is that the guy from that movie?
Me: Yes. His name is Jamie Foxx. He is from Texas.
Mom: He's from Texas? How did he get to be in that movie?
Me: Well, it's a little unheard of, but there are working actors from Texas.
Mom: But how did he get involved in movies in the first place?
Me: He auditioned? I don't know.
Mom: Why.....
Me: Enough. Oscars are over. The end.
Oh, my parents and their limited movie knowledge. I love it.